Go with peace and love....

Last Thursday I learned that my Pa George was not doing well and that he wouldn't be with us much longer.

He was in the hospital and had a surgery. I guess he was doing bad, then good, then bad. He wasn't expected to live more than 24 hours on Thursday.

I do horribly with death. I went over there to see him. He was pretty out of it. More people started showing up and I had to get back to work. I meant to go by the next day. I didn't. Saturday I didn't go by. Sunday I didn't go by. Monday I didn't go by. Today I was driving down the road to make a delivery and I told myself...it's probably a good time to go by. After my delivery I pulled in.

I pull up and my Uncle Matt was looking somber. Gramma Pat had tears in her eyes. I walked in literally just after it had happened. I just had a gut feeling to go over there, unannounced, just show up. I get these gut feelings here and there and I always know its my mom telling me to do stuff.

I feel grateful that I had a gut feeling to go over there. I was able to have a second alone with him. I was able to wish him peace. Thank him for being my grandpa. I was also able to tell him to say hi to my mom for me. All while he was still warm. I told him I loved him.

I remember having a really good time with my grandparents at the Huntington Beach house while I was little. That is where my memory resides when I think of my grandparents. I also remember going to stay up with them with my sister in Modesto. We had a good time up there together. I remember him cooking outside. He loved to use lots of garlic. I am more than certain that is where I got it from when I add garlic to everything. When I got into the family business, I found, that as an adult, I seemed to butt heads with George a lot. Some how, being little and not knowing much about adult hood tends to make better memories. I'm not going to spout off what we disagreed on...or why I might not have spent more time with him as an adult...

What good does that do? It doesn't matter now. He was my grandpa. Didn't agree on everything but regardless of that I know we both still loved each other.

I will miss him calling the shop saying "Hi there, Lea(er)." He always put an r instead of an a sound.

I don't know how to feel right now. I'm sad for the loss. Mostly sad for the people who spent the most time with him. Especially his daughter Cathy. That was the hardest part was watching her walk in the room.

I struggle with being truly sad by this loss. He is not suffering any longer. He is at peace. He has no pain. He's with my mom. He just got to figure out what life really was all about. Thank you for the lessons I have learned because of you. Thank you for being my grandpa. Bless you Pa George, rest in total peace, you were and are loved. 

Drum Roll...Please...I finally blogged again.

I didn't blog in February. I thought about it a few times...but alas...it didn't happen.

February isn't typically a good month for me. I am always so entrenched in the fact that it is the month my mom passed away oh so many years ago. It never feels as long as it really is. And some how...I always think she is coming back. I get reminded in that month that I lost her. It some how makes the whole month kind of a blur and I'm not generally too happy.

Star West was a little slow. I have been running things on my own and that stresses me out. Dave is out and about trying to sell and that leaves me to do his jobs and my jobs. I have to juggle a lot of stuff and sometimes...I'm not too good at it. I start thinking of all the things I have to do to get this place ready for my departure. I start freaking out. How do you get 11 years of experience out of your head and onto paper so that somebody might be able to do it? I'll figure it out. So last months emotions + stress= crazy crazy Lea.

But...hey...GUESS WHAT? It's half way through March. And some good things have been happening.

Farmey and I have been able to save up quite a bit of cash (for us at least). We've been with out comfort in money for so long it's refreshing to know that when the opportunity arises and we gotta spend money...we have it...and its comfortable for us to do so.

Yesterday I did my usual troll of the internet to find flight deals. I have been looking since last year. Trying to feel out the costs of our move. I had seen tickets for $1500 for one way. That's per person. That significantly would have demolished our nest egg and left a very big bruise on my saving ego. Wait...its ours not mine. But for the purposes of the blog...you get the jist. (Still having a hard time saying "we" after 4 years and something something months...I blame it on independence. Alex loves to give me a hard time about it.)

Prices weren't looking affordable until yesterday when I so magically happened to find an $817 flight per person. I found that flying to London was our cheapest option. Alex told me to pull the rip cord and get it. I immediately got excited and started chanting "I'm moving to England! I'm moving to England!" Thank you Iceland Air for your affordability. You just made one of my 7 year long dreams come true. I fly August 12th. We go from LAX to Seattle. Seattle to Iceland (so cool never been there....not like I get to see past the airport though). Iceland to London. We will then take the tube to Kings Cross and hop a train to Hull. We are going to be up for more than 24 hours by the time we get to Hull. We are going to be cranky and tired and probably hungry. Our bags will probably get lost some how (because it's American Airlines that handles the first flight so I would NOT be surprised). You'd think I wouldn't be looking forward to this journey so much. But I am...

I look passed the impending crankiness...the tears I will probably have leaving some of the people I love the most...and the bickering that might ensue between me and Farmey...and I realize...that's our first trip starting our own lives together. Our own lives. Alone...well mostly...we will be living with his Dad til we get sorted...but we'd go from a house of 6 to a house of 3. Bliss. We've been waiting for this. Patiently, sometimes...and not so patiently, sometimes...(Alex has the patience of a saint..I have no such thing.).

So now...with a move date in sight...I got quite a bit of things to handle quickly and efficiently. Get Star West out of my brain and onto paper. Eliminate things I am not taking with me and pack up ones I will eventually take with me. I need to do some touch up's and spruce up's to my truck so I can sell it quickly and painlessly. I almost don't know where to start...but I am going to start this weekend in my room.

I also have a lot of things I have to do with friends before I go. I want to soak up each and every person here whenever and  however I can. What makes this move and the distance ok is the ability to skype, facebook, email, blog...god bless the invention of all these things that will help me keep in contact with my beloved peeps.

I have some fun things planned ahead:

Taking a train down to visit my wife Roho. Yes I have a wife. haha She's one of my best friends and if I was to marry a woman...she would be it. LOL. I am going down Easter weekend. We are going to eat sprinkles and go to the movies and have Easter breakfast at Sarah's sisters house.

Yosemite: My Earth Day weekend. Another glorious time with my wife (also a fellow geographer I might add). We are going to enjoy our last Earth Day together. I'd like to say there are going to be more of these Earth Day trips in the future. We will see where the road of life takes us on that one. But I'm gonna love it and live it like its my last one.

May, June, July will all be up in the air ready for fun and I can't wait.

Other things I am looking forward to...Ladies Day at the Races in England. I get there just in time for it. I guess we all get on a bus in our fancy get up (I GET TO WEAR A FANCY  HAT!!! I've been waiting for this!!!) We go to the races...drink...come back...have a buffet at the pub and then DRINK SOME MORE! This alone will make moving a bit better. I'm looking forward to spending time with the friends I already have there and the new friends I am going to meet there.

The life I imagined is beginning. And I couldn't be more excited. I feel like I'm so excited I could pee my own pants every minute.


More things to follow...stay tuned.