The promise wasn't really to her so much as it was a promise to me...

How did it go from 8 months to almost 11 weeks?

SQUEALS!

I have been getting my stuff together here at Star West. I'm not as nervous about leaving it anymore. I don't feel too much stress in this department...I'm not sure what changed.

With my computer going out I suppose that might have been a nice fire to light under my ass. It made me unable to enter orders normally or  to digitize any of the designs that came in. It only left me with a few options and hyper organizational mode set in. (Obviously not happening now...I'm blogging...haha)

My sister is going to replace me. I cannot tell you how ecstatic I am about this. I think she will do a really fantastic job. I'm pretty sure that once she gets the hang of it...she will be better than me. I am in the middle of organizing and making manuals. I'm removing all my stuff from the office. I'm actually having fun being here. Is it because the end is in sight and ultimately I'm going to miss this job?

I've learned a lot from Star West in the past 11 and a half years that I have been here. For the last 7 of them Star West has been a constant in my head. I don't know why I felt it was important to promise my mom that I would never let her hard work at Star West go to waste. I don't even know why I felt it was important to keep that promise. I don't think she would care either way. I suppose I could have left right after she died.

I'm glad I didn't. I stuck around. I got to work with my family with out my mom. I had to learn to deal with them on my own. I had to learn how to make patterns. I had  to run out and do deliveries. I had to learn how to work full time....go to school...and still find time for a social life. I had to learn how to have a new boss and take what experience I had and give it to him. I learned that it is not easy having your own business at all (thankfully it's not mine). It's a struggle and you have to work VERY hard to keep it going. Especially in this economy. I had to learn how to digitize. How to become an accountant...I had to learn to manage the whole thing. All by myself. Which is what is happening now. My boss is out every day. I'm here. My crew and I are Star West.

Star West made me more confident in myself and my decisions. Star West taught me a bunch of things I never knew I would learn. I know I am going to leave this place knowing I have done everything in my power to make Star West what it is today. It's miles better than it used to be. I have blood, sweat, and tears in this thing (literally). I promised my mom her hard work wouldn't go to waste. What I really think I ended up promising myself was the chance to grow up and learn some crucial life lessons.

My gramma and I were chatting the other day about leaving. She was talking about a going away party and how we were going to have a brunch or something before we left. I told her I know I'm probably going to be crying the whole time. She told me that I could not cry as much as her when she left Chicago. She said everyone made her cry. She was crying on the plane. She was crying when she got off the plane.

She informed me that she was very attached to her mom. She said it took her mom dying for her to grow up. I looked at her and for what seemed like the first time in a long time we absolutely understood each other. We knew exactly how the other one was feeling.

I don't want a going away party...I don't want to cry. Maybe I won't. I want this move to feel like I've left on a vacation. A VERY long vacation. I want to feel like I bought a vacation house. I want to have a baby on vacation (LOL). I'm very excited for this period in my life.

I suppose I can't mention the move with out talking about my husband. Obviously he is the only reason why I would move to England. People ask me why I'm moving there.... Why on earth would you leave Cali for England? I think we can all agree that Cali is amazing weather wise. The food isn't shabby either. It's the cost of living that sucks the damn life out of you. People could probably argue that it would be the same in England. But I think what's different is the different pace of life that I'm looking forward to.

I'm going to push the little minute details out of the way and let you know for real why I'm moving there.

I met my husband in a pub. There was a connection for sure (obviously). One of the nights I looked at him right in the eyes and I barely knew him...didn't know anything really about him except he was Alex...he had no hair...and he was English...and I saw him in the pub...A LOT hahah...I knew there was something about him. I'm telling you...it sure as hell felt like love at first sight. The last night I was there I cried because I didn't want to leave him. He asked me to stay.

Obviously I was right. It was special. Special enough for me to marry him. Special enough for him to give up his life in England for 5 years. He sold his beloved car for me. He left his niece and missed the other one being born for me. He's missed his family for me. He sat at home for 4 years doing the dishes, the laundry, cleaning up...for me. All because I couldn't let Star West go. He's the best thing that has ever happened to me. I'm not going to pretend like he doesn't drive me nuts though and wish for a shot gun to the head daily. hahaha.

I don't worry about moving over there because I know we will take care of each other. I don't worry about any of it...mostly because we have lived as a married couple for 5 years amongst my family and the things I am comfortable with. We have fought. We have laughed. There were times I wasn't too sure we'd hang on as well as we did. I'm so glad things didn't work out the way I thought they would. Otherwise...they wouldn't be what they are.

I'm happy, I'm in love, and I'm about to go on the biggest adventure of my life.